Pastor Connor recently shared a story about a conversation he had with his oldest daughter, Chloe. She was 6 years old at the time.
He and his family had decided to go visit The Magic Kingdom. His parents had come into town, and what better place to go than “The Happiest Place on Earth.” It was the pastor, his wife, their three daughters, and the grandparents.
His eldest daughter Chloe was scared to death to go on any of the rides. He suggested they all go on the Dumbo ride. “No one is scared to go on the Dumbo ride. You get on this elephant-shaped car. You slowly lift off the ground, and you go in a few circles at a very reasonable speed. Seriously this is not the tower of terror ride. This is a kid’s ride. Not a scary ride by any means.”
As they walked up to the Dumbo ride, Pastor Connor started encouraging his daughter. “It’s a safe ride; it will be fun; your 1-year-old sister is going to ride it too.”
But, Chloe dug in her heels. She was convinced the Dumbo ride was too scary, and therefore, refused to go.
Chloe chose to wait back with her mom and grandmother while the rest of the family went on the Dumbo ride.
As the father, grandfather, and two sisters return from the Dumbo ride, Chloe is standing there very sad. Tears are coming down her face as she realizes she missed out on this adventure. Through the tears, she asked the question, “Daddy, can we go again?”
Decision time for Daddy. On the one hand, no big deal, right? Take Chloe on the ride. Let her overcome the fear of going on a ride. Let her be happy and continue with the day. Possibly ride even more rides together. That certainly is one way this story could have been unfolded.
On the other hand, Pastor Connor thought about how this could be a significant teaching moment. He chose to use this opportune moment to teach Chloe a valuable lesson.
“No honey, we’re not going again; you had the chance. You missed out.”
He wanted his daughter to realize that when someone she knows, trusts, loves, and has her best interest at heart encourages her to do something, listen. At least consider it. Don’t just stand there and refuse to participate.
Basically, he wanted his daughter to learn to have faith and courage when someone she knows loves her, and she can trust, is inviting her to try something. The underlying message, “Don’t let fear consume you to the point you miss out on good adventures. Have courage.”
What a powerful message for a child to hear, for all of us to hear! Have faith. Have courage.
This is an excellent example of a parent engaging in a response-able interaction because:
- He intentionally interacted to strengthen the youth’s personal development.
- He thought about the message beforehand. It was not a reaction; it was an intentional response.
- He spoke gently with love and care.
We all want our children to feel good and be happy. We certainly don’t want to hurt their feelings. Yet, we also want the youth to learn and experience valuable life lessons too. Every one of us needs people in our lives who will challenge us in gentle and loving ways.
The youth especially need this guidance throughout childhood. In fact, if children do not have adults in their life who will gently and lovingly confront them, they are in trouble!
So, let me leave you with this question. What valuable life lessons are you teaching your children? Do you want to teach them to have the courage to try new things? To clean up their own mess? To ask for help when they are unsure of what to do?
Start looking for opportune moments to teach the youth one of the many valuable life lessons. Create moments to teach the knowledge, skill, or self-discipline. If not you, then who?
You can help the youth create better life stories, one interaction at a time!
In the comments below, share your story about an opportune moment you had to gently and lovingly teach your child a valuable life lesson! Let’s keep learning from one another!
Best wishes,
~Denise
Image: Joe Penniston